So my plan to write a weekly column didn’t work. I will however try to write on a regular basis. Thank you for all your messages, support and sharing your story. I’m really happy that I can help you, at least this way.
The last couple of months were quite hectic. In April I finally got the keys to my house.
My ex keeps on telling everyone that he helped me with finding a place. In reality he kicked me and his daughter on the street and we had no place to live. I’m happy my parents supported us and we could stay in their house. The packing of my stuff was traumatic. Not only did I have to pack under a time pressure but also my ex changed the locks so I couldn’t pick up my stuff. Under his conditions he allowed me to pick my stuff up. And if that wasn’t enough he kicked my furniture so it was broken. Because of the high amount of my stuff I couldn’t storage it at my parents house. I first put a part in to storage at a friend’s house but at the end I had to find a box. Let me just say ladies, if you need a storage in the Netherlands I would really advise Shurgard. They are professional, helpful and the price is good. My storage of 15m2 was completely full.
So once the end of April came and the keys, the real work began. I opened my box and I only could cry, how would I ever manage to clean out this box. Above all I also would be moving to a much smaller place, so I will have to sell, give to charity and change most of my stuff. The unpacking was a very, very long process. I went through around 150 boxes. On the 1st of August 2019 my box was clear. So I hope by the first of September we will be living in our new house.
Ladies, I know what your are going through and how dramatic this moving, unpacking, selling stuff is, but once you are settled in your new house I promise it will get better. A new house, a new start.
Not only the living situation changed because of my divorce but I also my job. I was spending around 2-3 hours in the car daily, something which I couldn’t do now that I was a single mom. I changed my job to the city where I will be moving soon to with Zoë and work in my profession as a lawyer.
In the meanwhile the communication with my ex didn’t get better. So when I hear your stories all I can say how relatable this is to me. And yes the number of lies like with you ladies are also spread about me. They are so many but the latest was that apparently he has no money because he pays me as well as Zoë alimony. He told his students and they told my acquittance and she told me. Let me just clarify that. With his “lack of money” he managed to renovate his whole house, have a wedding, go on a honeymoon, buy a new car and now he has a new child. Let’s just say I really hope we all have “no money” like he has. The other lies I will leave behind.
So as I was saying my ex goes like the thunder. My baby girl is just 2 years and 5 months, but he managed to get a divorce, remarry and have a new child in two years. When I tell anyone this story people are shocked and don’t find it normal. Yet for his family and work it’s the most common thing in the world. I’m still sorry for my little girl that I made this huge mistake to marry him and that he is her father. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect her for what happened and how badly he treated us. That he only thinks about himself and wanted to break me without thinking one moment what this would do to Zoë. She deserves a real father. She didn’t deserve this. I know you feel the same way ladies. But I’m sure the best is yet to come. Keep on going beautiful single momma’s. I still believe karma is a bitch.